


A Real Decision is Taking Action

by aislingdoheanta



Series: Intimate Conversations [4]
Category: Spartacus Series (TV), Spartacus: Vengeance
Genre: Canon Era Fic, Episode: The Greater Good, Gen, M/M, episode 2.03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-10
Updated: 2013-04-10
Packaged: 2017-12-08 01:35:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/755462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aislingdoheanta/pseuds/aislingdoheanta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“You are angry because of my actions,” Nasir argued.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I cannot fault you for doing what you thought right,” Agron told him.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Nasir tilted his head up at him, the hands hanging at his sides almost crossed behind his back out of habit. “I did not stand with you.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Nor are you forced to.”</i>
</p>
<p>Nasir struggles with his decision to remain quiet about Naevia's fate until he can no longer bear to lie to Crixus. The fallout between Crixus and Agron is something he hadn't expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Real Decision is Taking Action

**Author's Note:**

> Nasir's POV during _The Greater Good_ from Nasir telling Crixus about Naevia through their fight up until Nasir decides to go with Spartacus and Crixus to the mines.
> 
> Nasir is obviously still struggling a bit with the slave mentality. If you have read the other fic, ["Ease a Troubled Mind,"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/752329) you'll see that he's gotten much more comfortable speaking with Agron about his mind and things, but it's much more difficult for him to act against his wishes. He still feels as though he has to act as those around wish him to. It's from that idea that this fic comes from.

Nasir was pulling the trunk when he felt it being lifted from behind. He started at seeing the man before him before greeting him. “Crixus.” 

Crixus waited until Nasir was holding up his end of the trunk before speaking. “I was not in favor of your training. Do you know the reason?” His voice was softer than normal.

Nasir focused on the task at hand so as he did not have to turn back to look at the Gaul. “I made attempt on Spartacus.” 

Crixus breathed out in what might have been, in other circumstances, amusement. “As have I, on more than one occasion. I did not trust you,” he continued, “because you were Syrian.” This caused Nasir to turn his head and glance at the man to determine if he was about to attack him. Crixus only continued speaking, “I've had unfortunate acquaintance with one of your people. As did my woman.” He set the box down, following Nasir's lead. “Naevia.”

Nasir looked at him. “Apologies.” 

Crixus' eyes dropped and it was as though he was staring at a distant memory, one that still haunted. “He caused her much pain,” he said suddenly. “Yet despite this, she would not have held you for his actions. Such was her heart.” He brought his eyes to Nasir once more. “One I shall try to honor. In thought and deed.” He raised his arm as a gesture to clasp arms, to claim peace. 

Nasir could not look at him. He was grieving the loss of a woman not yet dead. He could no longer stand by and watch this man suffer when there was still chance for reunion. Not after witnessing his attempt at honoring her memory. 

He raised his eyes again to Crixus' face. He swallowed. “There is something I must tell you.” 

Crixus dropped his arm and tilted his head. “Speak then.” 

Nasir dropped his eyes. “Your woman, Naevia, she is not dead. She's prisoner to the mines.” 

Crixus rushed at him, gripping part of his cloak in hand. “You only speak of this now?” 

Nasir let him throw him into the wall, not attempting to fight back. “Apologies. I thought it wise until tempers calmed.” 

Crixus glared at him. “Agron.” He dropped the man and rushed to the courtyard, shouting, “AGRON!”

Nasir followed him as quickly as he could and saw the two men fighting. Crixus had Agron against the pillar while the men around them struggled to break them apart. 

Spartacus rushed forward. “Take your man,” he said to the Gauls, attempting to calm everyone down. 

“FUCKING _SHIT_!” Agron yelled, glaring at Crixus. 

“I'll fucking kill you,” Crixus hissed out as his men attempted to hold him back. 

Nasir noticed that Donar was not faring much better in his attempt at holding back Agron, who was growling and snarling like an animal. 

Spartacus gripped Crixus' face in his hands but Nasir could not hear much of what was spoken. It was quiet and he was attempting to make himself scarce for he feared what would happen if Agron was told that it was Nasir who spoke with Crixus. It wasn't intended as a betrayal, though it would undoubtedly be taken as such. He just could no longer stand by and watch the man suffer in that way. 

Nasir's eyes remained on Agron, watching as he continued to struggle against the man that held him. As much as he hadn't wanted Crixus to suffer, he also did not wish to see Agron suffer as well. He wanted to go to him and attempt to calm him, but he did not know what words to speak. 

Suddenly Agron's eyes snapped to his. There was a fury to them that Nasir had never seen, not directed at him anyway. He immediately dropped his eyes, afraid of what had been said to cause such a reaction. 

Nasir kept his head bowed as he heard words being spoken between the men. It wasn't until he heard Agron shouting that he briefly glanced up. Yet he was unable to continue looking at him out of fear of making eye contact once more. 

Nasir felt guilt at his actions against Agron as well as those he took against Crixus. Yet he knew it was the right thing to do. It was what he would have wanted if he was in Crixus' place. It made him angry that he could not feel as though he made the right decision because Agron was displeased by it. 

Was that all this was now? Had Agron simply taken the place of his master? A master that Nasir would follow blindly, without giving voice to complaint or thought? Is that what Agron expected? 

_Is that what Nasir wanted?_

No. Nasir did not wish to merely be placed from master to master, obeying orders and wishes. He was a free man, as Spartacus and Agron were so fond of telling him. He had the right to choose his own course of action, whether they agreed with it or not. 

Perhaps, the guilt only stemmed from upsetting Agron for he has become his closest friend in this camp and their relationship was still so new that he was fearful it would fall before long. Could he stand firm in his decision to follow his heart, even when it goes against the wishes of those he cared about? 

It was a foreign feeling for Nasir, one who was not used to feeling anything. He was startled out of his thoughts by Spartacus. 

“If a single life holds no value, then none are of worth!” he shouted, glancing around at those around him. “I stand with Crixus and will see Naevia from bondage.”

Nasir saw Agron speaking to Spartacus, but could not hear him until he addressed the rest of the camp. Nasir bowed his head again as Agron spoke, “I move for Vesuvius Those that would live, join me.”

Nasir watched as Agron rushed passed, not sparing a glance for anyone. He wanted to rush after him to apologize, to remove the look from his face that had been directed at Nasir, the one that he had felt as if someone has struck him. Though he was unsure what to say. 

He hesitantly followed Agron to where he was residing. He found Agron talking with Donar about the last of the preparations for Vesuvius. 

Agron immediately looked up, his eyes meeting Nasir's. “Go see it readied. I will be there shortly.” Donar nodded and signaled the men to follow. 

“Would you share a moment?” Nasir asked quietly, not moving from his position in the doorway. 

Agron nodded. 

“You are angry,” Nasir stated quietly. 

Agron shook his head. “I _was_ angry. But I have work to do and cannot afford lose myself to it.” 

Nasir looked down. “Apologies. It was not my intention to cause offense.” 

Agron walked to him, stopping right in front of him. “It was not you that caused offense.”

“You are angry because of my actions,” Nasir argued. 

“I cannot fault you for doing what you thought right,” Agron told him. 

Nasir tilted his head up at him, the hands hanging at his sides almost crossed behind his back out of habit. “I did not stand with you.” 

“Nor are you forced to.” Agron placed a hand on Nasir's cheek, much as he had the other morning when he had confessed to Nasir that he did not wish to see him or others harmed in an attempt at rescue. “You are a free man. I wish you would remember that and rid yourself of these thoughts.”

“I do know my freedom, though it is still a heavy weight on my mind when thought of too often,” Nasir confessed. “I believe to have been right to tell Crixus of Naevia's fate. But I did not wish to be at odds with you.” 

Agron dropped his hand but didn't move from his position in front of Nasir. “That should not give you pause, Nasir. If we become at odds, is it not better than having gone against what you believe right and just?” 

“I suppose,” Nasir said quietly.

“I am often at disagreement with others,” Agron continued, laughing slightly. “It is not something you can escape.”

Nasir nodded but could not think of anything more to say.

“Ease your mind, Nasir. I hold no quarrel with you.” Agron smiled at him.

“Then I am grateful,” Nasir told him. “Agron, may I ask of the Syrian you spoke of before?” 

Agron tilted his head. “What cause is it now?” 

“You spoke of him as treacherous,” Nasir said. _Treacherous fuck if ever there breathed._ “And Crixus mentioned the Syrian and how he had wronged both Crixus and Naevia.”

Agron sighed. “It is no secret that the Syrian was not liked among those at the ludus. Yet I do not understand your cause for concern.” 

“I am Syrian,” Nasir said, bowing his head once again. “If I am to be held responsible for his actions, I would like to know them.” 

Agron frowned at him. “Who spoke of placing blame on you?” 

“It is of no importance.” He looked back up at Agron. “I would like to know why you thought him so.” 

Agron rubbed a hand through his hair and turned to walk a few steps away. “He was a man with loyalties that changed with the blowing wind.” 

“Surely he was loyal to your dominus?” Nasir asked. 

Agron nodded. “Yes. But he was no longer loyal to his brothers.” Agron looked around, his eyes settling on something Nasir couldn't see. “He had hand in many...acts against those I stood with, yet claimed he had not,” Agron explained quietly. “He claimed a loyalty to those with the brand, yet he did not act, nor speak, with that thought in mind.” 

Agron glanced back at Nasir. “I cannot tell you others' thoughts for it is not my place to share.” 

Nasir nodded and was silent for a moment, trying to ease his mind that everyone thought him the same as this Syrian. “I am feared to be of equal loyalty?” Nasir asked.

“You have already proven fierce loyalty. First to your dominus and then to Spartacus,” Agron told him. “But time will tell if you remain as fickle about mind as he was.” Agron smiled at him and Nasir knew that it was not meant a slight, but to rid him of doubtful thoughts. 

Agron stood up and walked to him. “There are still few things that need done before we would leave.” 

“You would still have my help?” Nasir asked.

“There's no one I would rather ask,” Agron said as he gathered the few items in the room to shove into the pack. 

It was said so quietly, as though it was the simplest truth in the world, that Nasir had to to take pause for a moment. Naturally, he had heard that phrase from his dominus, but he had always been looking at Nasir and Nasir had known for exactly what purpose his dominus required him to be at his side. Agron spoke because he wanted _Nasir_ there because he trusted him, even preferred his company, not because he was just a body slave. 

It was a welcome feeling and one that Nasir treasured. 

Yet as he helped with the packing, he thought more and more about Naevia trapped in the mines. He remembered a woman coming to his dominus' villa with a mark upon her back as Crixus said. Nasir had never known her name, yet as terrified as she was, there was hope burning in her eyes like fire. Nasir had hoped she would remain at his villa so he might be able to relieve her of the horrors that plagued her mind. 

It was why, when he walked into the courtyard after Agron and saw Spartacus, Crixus, and the others getting ready to make leave for the mines, he had to offer help. “I accompanied my dominus to the mines once. I may be of some aid.” 

Spartacus smiled at him as Crixus said, “Well received.” 

Nasir turned to face Agron, unsure how he would react. The man merely smiled and shook his head. “Fucking Syrians,” he said as he grabbed the bag. 

Nasir smiled, though it was small. He knew that Agron was not angry at him for leaving, which was a blessing. Yet, he felt strange for leaving the one person he had grown so close to. It was why, when Mira announced the wagon ready, he rushed after Agron to grab his arm.

Something must have shown in his eyes because Agron laughed. “If you try to apologize, I will throw you in fucking wagon myself.” 

Nasir stopped because that was exactly what he had been planning. He just smiled and looked down. 

Agron placed a hand over Nasir's that still rested on his arm. “Keep watchful eyes,” he warned. “And see that you meet us in Vesuvius.” 

Nasir nodded as he felt Agron's hand tighten against his own. Then he smiled and was gone. 

Mira came up to him, grabbed his arm, and directed him to the wagon. It was going to be a long, dangerous few days, but Nasir knew that he had made the right decision for him. Just as he knew that Agron felt no ill feeling toward him because of it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading and I hope you liked it! 
> 
>  
> 
> **Slightly-long Meta explanation below. Don't feel like you have to read!**
> 
> I feel like I need to explain, just a bit, on Agron in this (after the fight with Crixus) as to why some may think he's a little OOC. We all know that Agron has a temper. More often than not, he's still snarling or growling even when he's been told to calm down or leave. That's just how Agron is. Agron's temper is something that is universally acknowledged. As is his ability to be incredibly sweet and gentle with Nasir. (I have always loved that contrast!)
> 
> Yes, Agron is furious when Crixus attacks him, as is obvious. He even looks a little pissed that Nasir told him, but he sort of lets that all go. I have watched that scene so many times because I wanted to make sure I got the tone right. After Spartacus hits him and announces that he's going to stand with Crixus, Agron sort of deflates. It's almost as if he shakes his head and goes, "I fucking give up." He just says, "I'm not going to fucking die for this" and moves on to announce that he's still leaving for Vesuvius. There's no real malice in his tone, just resignation that his leader and the Gaul are most likely going to their deaths and there's nothing he can do. 
> 
> This is why he's scene with Nasir is different. Because he's _not_ angry. He has things to finish and wishes it was different. But it's not, so there's no point anymore in being angry. 
> 
> And Nasir. He's slightly challenging to write in this phase because he's begun transitioning into the warrior that we know, but he's obviously having trouble with following orders. He's helping Agron pack for Vesuvius, most likely training with Spartacus, and probably other random things as well. It's not that he necessarily does or does not want to, He's just always done what's told and/or the things that need to be done. 
> 
> I feel like Pana did a really good job in this episode, showing that he was troubled with Agron's decision to lie, but sort of feeling as though he cannot really do anything about it. Agron is his superior, so to speak, and made a decision and Nasir feels like he needs to stand by him because that's what slaves do. They do not get a say in actions or decisions. They must keep their opinions to themselves. But here Nasir is a free man and you can see the struggle on Nasir's face every time he looks at Agron. It's partly seeking assurance that they've made the right choice but also trying to work up the courage to decide how it is he actually feels about it. 
> 
> In the sort of prequel to this, I wrote that Nasir had sort of come to terms with admitting that he was not entirely comfortable with the decision and in this story it's him choosing to live with the decision or change it.
> 
> I also think Nasir stuggles a lot with Agron's attentions toward him. For one he's actually very sweet, something I'm sure Nasir hasn't had a lot of experience with it. Then with Chadara's conversation, I think he might begin to fear that Agron only sees him as a body, as so many have, and not as a person. He fears Agron may wish to strike up an arrangement similar to the one Chadara's looking for and believed Mira and Spartacus had. That's going to come out in later fics.
> 
> Sorry for the long slightly meta post. I just have a lot of thoughts on Spartacus things. It wasn't meant to be this long!


End file.
